Kai's Journal Entries | Calendar | Friends
| Thursday, August 31st, 2006 | |
| 4:40 pm | |
| Monday, April 17th, 2006 | |
| 3:03 pm | |
| Friday, March 31st, 2006 | |
| 12:16 am | Dawn The other day I was running around the woods. It was the first time since winter it had been warm enough for a single layer. The sun was out and it was as if I hadn't felt the sun before, not like that. It was new, a new experience. As if I had just been born. Current Mood:  tiredCurrent Music: silence |
| Thursday, March 30th, 2006 | |
| 11:47 pm | It's a beautiful thing when your friend calls you up early in the morning and thanks you for beating up their son. Apparently, he's been going on about how quickly I kicked his ass, and how I'm only so and so pounds, and begging them to get him into martial arts now. He's pretty tough and bigger than me. My friend always wanted his sons to get into martial arts, so he was like "you gave him wings!"... or something like that... and was really happy about it. We were just messing around, but he had all these bruises and was pumped about it. That's one of the best things I can think of doing for someone, so I was really quite happy about that. Current Mood:  pleasedCurrent Music: silence |
| Sunday, March 26th, 2006 | |
| 8:32 pm | Quiet I....have found myself taking notice of when I say "I", or "me"....I I I... me me me... Whenever my ego begins to seep out, interest in myself, talking about myself, making sure I'm talking about myself 'for a reason', and that it is not ego talking....however harmless it may seem when we all do it. I suppose I just want to notice. I went to a party last night. Everyone was wasted, and it was continuously noted that I was "quiet". No one hears you in that state anyway. Quiet is my drug of choice. It's hardcore and the high is immense. It feels like a dream when you are so out of place. And more and more places, are like that. But dreams are interesting to watch. So I watch. A friend told me his wife left him recently (but has since come back). Purposely not wanting to tell me, thinking I might think less of him.... However when we had spoken on the phone I clearly remember a strong thought image, wondering if maybe his wife left him. There was no talk of anything like that, but after we got off the phone I wondered. Shrugging it off, not thinking much of it. And we didn't speak for a little while after that. Current Mood: quiet Current Music: nothing |
| Tuesday, March 21st, 2006 | |
| 12:37 pm | |
| Monday, March 20th, 2006 | |
| 10:05 pm | |
| Wednesday, March 15th, 2006 | |
| 2:52 pm | Closing I think it is finally over... This morning made it very clear. Nothing ends. Just change. Fear is like hatred. It can cause a person to decieve you....or to harm you. Jennifer, I hope you find your self. This year is going to be very different. I've known that for a long time. Different things are settling now, closing....starting... Next comes the new. It's not hard to predict the future. I learned a very valuable lesson about material things recently. It's not the thing. It's what I wanted it for. Will it do that? If I am spending too much time trying to get the type I have set my sights on, I'm not doing what I wanted it for in the first place. Get it done so you can do what you originally wanted the way you wanted. It doesn't have to be 'that' pair of pants, or 'that' earring....the important thing is that it creates the kind of feeling I was looking for. Bagua class has been on hold while I make these changes, because it is such a distance to travel. I still pay for classes. The real class isn't a place. I will work that out in time. Current Mood: sincere Current Music: Epic Rock Radio |
| Saturday, March 11th, 2006 | |
| 1:38 pm | Nature of business "Hmmmm...but who's to judge whether a business should be put out of business or not? Because, ........, I'm sure there are those people who want them to stay." Sure, it's a good question. Some wanted Hitler to stay too, but others were treated very poorly. If a problem were to arise that's when they would see the whole of what they are dealing with. A business can't send something, to only some of the people that pay them for it. Otherwise, the natural next step is for the element that it irritated to uprise and overthrow it, while the other elements would not have been given enough energy/motivation to get involved and protect it. Current Mood:  soreCurrent Music: silence |
| 2:21 am | |
| Tuesday, March 7th, 2006 | |
| 2:02 pm | six string switchblade I pulled out my guitars last night. I can still play. Today I found the cables and a tuner. My beloved metal pedal is still missing. I have no idea where I put that....not somewhere I would find it of course. No too easy. She's slouching. Don't slouch. Current Mood:  content |
| Monday, February 27th, 2006 | |
| 3:08 pm | |
| 5:22 am | |
| Saturday, February 25th, 2006 | |
| 1:11 pm | Evil I dreamt I was being chased out of a warehouse by a mysterious undead evil. It moved slowly. I was climbing a shelf to get a scary halloween mask when it came. Outside the front was loaded with bicycles, cars, and custom latino chopper-style mopeds. Under one of them was a pimped out gun loaded with one bullet, which I shot to test if the gun worked. I walked around with the empty gun to see if there was a motorcycle I could take. That is all I remember. Current Mood: getting warm Current Music: Tiffany "Heaven is a Place on Earth" |
| 10:59 am | |
| Thursday, February 23rd, 2006 | |
| 12:00 pm | |
| Sunday, February 19th, 2006 | |
| 6:37 pm | Life is a state of mind. I'm thinking about checking out courses at the college....maybe start looking at a new language. Any more than that and I could be asking for trouble, overloading my head with things I won't use. There are no sex ed, sparring club, asian architecture, weapons training, or health courses....so that leaves French. College academics is kind of dull huh? After seeing Freedomland last night, I almost feel like getting involved in helping people....really changing them, with martial arts. It helped me see a few things I may not have seen before. Maybe there is a course to help with that. I think there is a certain image associated with martial arts. We see tradition, fighting, atheletics, and some discipline. Maybe the name sometimes does it harm. The name itself is not easily understood. It's also a term that has been translated from other languages which may have more apparent meaning in them. The term dojo is still used, but unless you're Japanese it's a 'school'. It does not mean school. It literally means "Way place". That is like saying it is a place of wisdom and God. The Way to them should mean it is the Tao, God, Allah, the everything, the way of all things. But before that, there were the Chinese. Chinese has a number of names, some of which are kind of uninformative, but one of them translated into "to stop the fighting", which makes even more sense when you think about where it came from... Buddhist monks... Buddhist fucking monks. To stop the fighting means to stop the internal fighting, with yourself. When someone sits there thinking how the world is pain, that is war. Thoughts won't go away and they don't have the ability to fight them off. Thoughts are everywhere and we must be prepared at all times. If it were called something like Human Transformation, it might reach out to more people. When a gangbanger loses his grip, or a stressed out single mother is breaking down because life is not offering her anything, do you think they are going to look to "martial arts"? No, I doubt it. I wish more friends of mine would see that and get involved. Current Mood: chilly Current Music: Ice Cube "Down for Whatever" |
| Friday, February 17th, 2006 | |
| 1:20 pm | |
| 9:37 am | "Even when called out by a single foe, Remain on guard, for you are always surrounded by a host of enemies." "Do not stare into the eyes of your opponent: he may mesmerize you. Do not fix your gaze on his sword: he may intimidate you. Do not focus on your opponent at all: he may absorb your energy. The essence of training is to bring your opponent into your sphere. Then you can stand just where you like." "Left and right, Avoid all Cuts and parries. Seize your opponents' minds And scatter them all!" Current Mood: sharpening my sword with blah |
| Thursday, February 16th, 2006 | |
| 7:01 pm | It was a warm February day... I went out and took measurements for the zen house's posts. The ground is very much not flat and I would like to keep it that way, so I had to figure how long or short they will need to be. Sometime ago I remember wondering, how am I possibly going to do that? My jaw is almost back to normal. There was something else I wanted to write, but it has since escaped my memory. random links: Rear view helmet Helmet display HUD 2 big black guys in an intense fight - I've been analyzing this |
hungry
calm